Buffalo Bills Rational Recap–Head Explosion Edition

Buffalo Bills Rational Recap–Head Explosion Edition
Every Monday* I try my very best to write a rational recap of the latest Buffalo Bills game. For last week’s recap, CLICK HERE!
 *Except the bye week and the Thursday night NFL network shit show against the Cleveland Browns.

I’m gonna go ahead and just put this out there: there is absolutely no way that I will ever be able to write a rational and reasonable recap of the week 9 matchup between the Buffalo Bills and the Kansas City Chiefs. No amount of time, fish tacos, or space from Dan Dierdorf’s annoying, senile grandpa routine could do it.

Why so crazy? I will let HCDM explain: “I thought it was a catch all the way… I struggle sometimes. I would love for someone to tell me what a definition of a catch is.” I too, like Doug Marrone, struggle sometimes. Actually no, I struggle all the time with the definition of what a catch is.

As someone with a fully functioning prefrontal cortex, I have to say watching an NFL game has become an increasingly jarring experience on a cognitive level. I have through the years built up an understanding of what a catch is. Yet week after week my idea of what a catch is keeps getting uprooted by the NFL’s ever-changing, constant evolving virus idea of one.

My common sense, or dare I say, rational understanding of what a catch is this: if a player catches a ball with their hands or body, that player may use the ground to assist with the catch for as long as they control the ball as they are hitting the ground. In the case of Marquise Goodwin’s non catch, Goodwin caught the ball and was contacted legally by a Chiefs defender. Then he appeared to have used his arm (last I checked, still a part of the human body) to shield the ball from hitting the ground and then rolled over with the ball on top of him, down by contact. The ball never hit the ground because a body part of Goodwin’s blocked it from doing so. After Goodwin rolled over, already down by contact, the ball was jarred loose by a Chiefs defender. 

This is me trying to comprehend the logic behind what constitutes an NFL catch these days.

Originally the play was ruled as a catch by one referee, but another ref came in and somehow convinces him it wasn’t a catch, thus the call on the field is now incomplete. In order to overturn it there needs to be “indisputable visual evidence” that Goodwin controlled the ball. Upon further review by the referee, the call was upheld. The referee in his rambling, incoherent response noted that “the ball came loose.” Well, seeing that there was a body part between the ball and the ground, logic would dictate the ball is not loose. How could a ball be dangling in limbo crunched between an arm and the side of a stomach without falling out??????!?!!??!?!?!!????!?!??!??!?!?!?

Like really? Are you fucking serious? This is debatable somehow?

Yes, I’ve hyperfocused on one particular moment and I promise I wont do this again. I clearly needed to get this off my chest. I think it was a roundabout way of assuring myself that I am not as brain dead as those referees and Dan Dierdorf. But I feel a lot better now, but not enough to erase this whole thing and write a rational recap.

Truth is, there were other moments that lead to the Bills loss. Some completely of their own doing, but the majority of them were absolutely not their fault. Once I find a torrent of the game I will deconstruct it Zapruder film style.

I will be back next week with what hopefully amounts to a rational and reasonable recap. 


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