Not A Gambling Column–Week 5

Not A Gambling Column–Week 5

I went 8-7 last week, which was a huge improvement over my 6-10 the previous week. But still not great. I gotta get my shit together.

Bills over Browns. I picked the Bills. If I had known Brandon Weeden was going to get involved, I would have felt a lot better about that pick. Of course, EJ Manuel gets injured. #futilityofhumanendeavour.

New Orleans over Chicago. New Orleans in potentially bad weather? Well, I still will take the Saints because I’m frightened and weak-willed.

Cincinatti over New England. Geno Atkins will have his way with Brady.

Green Bay over Detroit. The Lions without Calvin Johnson. Yup.

Kansas City over Tennessee. Alex Smith or Ryan Fitzpatrick? I will take Alex Smith. The phrase “I will take Alex Smith” is one I am not used to saying.

Indianapolis over Seattle. Andrew Luck’s rightful ascension to the upper echelon of NFL quarterbacks begins today.

St. Louis over Jacksonville. Because Sam Bradford is a better Blaine Gabbert.

Baltimore over Miami. Because I really, really don’t like Ryan Tannehill‘s wife.

Philadelphia over NY Giants. Because Chip Kelly needs a confidence boost.

Arizona over Carolina. Cardinals are a pretty good team at home. Their defense will pressure Cam Newton.

Denver over Dallas. I don’t think this will be a cakewalk for Denver. But I look forward to Peyton Manning maintaining his 60 touchdown pace.

San Francisco over Houston. Matt Schaub on the road. LOL.

Oakland over San Diego. Philip Rivers and his awkward mechanics finally come unglued during this bizarre late game.

Atlanta over NY Jets. Mike Smith will try to find a way to fuck this up .

Update: 12-2 this week!

Last week: 8-7 This year: 36-28.

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