Not A Gambling Column–Week 4

Not A Gambling Column–Week 4

I’m late again with my weekly picks column. You’re gonna have to trust I picked St. Louis San Francisco before they built up a lead.

I went 6-10 last week. Just like the Bills did the previous two seasons. I guess the Buffalo Bills mediocrity is rubbing off on me. Last week was tricky because of all the road favourites. This week seems to be more of the same. Here’s hoping I can stay above .500. Current record: 27-21.

San Francisco over St. Louis. If yo think I’m lying, you’re wrong. I would never pick Sam Bradford to win a football game. On a side note: I wish Takeo Spikes was still playing for the Niners, so he could take out Chris Givens over the middle. “The Lord Chris Givens and the Lord Takeo-yeth away.”

Buffalo over Baltimore. Ray Rice is playing hurt, but so is CJ Spiller. The Bills secondary is in shambles, but the Ravens don’t have the receiver depth to take advantage of it. Baltimore is the better team, but Buffalo is at home.

Cincinatti over Cleveland. Brian Hoyer–a.k.a. my ex gf’s cousin–is actually pretty good. I would venture to say he’s better than Andy Dalton. And the main advantage that Dalton has is AJ Green, but Josh Gordon aint too shabby. The big difference in this game will be defense. The Bengals may have the best overall unit in the NFL.

Chicago over Detroit. I’m not particularly sure who will win this game. I’m going with the Bears because Trestman seems like he’s got it going on mentally. Jim Schwartz, well, I don’t know if I could say the same.

NY Giants over Kansas City. This will be my most insane pick of the week. I just can’t see the Giants going 0-4.

Arizona over Tampa Bay. My scouting report of Mike Glennon involves none of the traditional scouting tools like gametape, combine results, etc. What it does involve is looking at his goofy pictures on Google images. Just look at his face and tell me in all seriousness that he’s a starter in the NFL.

The only thing that Mike Glennon has going for him is that he’s too tall to get stuffed into a locker.

Indianapolis over Jacksonville. Andrew Luck vs. Blaine Gabbert!!!

Houston over Seattle. Upset special! I’m going to regret this, but for some reason I think Matt Schaub at home can pull it off against Russell “Inevitably will become a Scientologist” Wilson.

Pittsburgh over Minnesota. I’ve picked the Steelers to win twice this year. Do it for me Gentle Ben!

Tennessee over NY Jets. I am picking Jake Locker to win a football game. I don’t feel good about it.

Oakland over Washington. Washington over Oakland. I’m going to try something sketchy: if Pryor starts I pick Oakland, if Flynn starts I pick the Washington Stupid White Men.

Denver over Philadelphia. I’m sorry Chip Kelly.

Dallas over San Diego. Philip Rivers renaissance ends today!

Atlanta over New England. Come on Matty ice. Your nickname will finally make sense after this victory.

New Orleans over Miami. I’ve picked agains the Dolphins every week. My luck changes this week.

6-10. This year: 27-21.

 

 

 

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