Not A Gambling Column–Week 3 Picks

I’ve decided to submit my weekly picks on time this week. What a novel approach, I know.

I’m not sure what’s going on in this gif, but I love Chip Kelly unconditionally.

Last week:12-4 Overall: 21-11.

Eagles over Chiefs. Thursday home teams are about the safest bet in football. The safest best? That the Thursday game will be unwatchable.

Green Bay over Cincinnati. Aaron Rodgers vs. Andy Dalton. Need I say more?

Dallas over St. Louis. Sam Bradford on the road.

San Diego over Tennessee. This is by far the most difficult game on the schedule to pick. Both these teams were expected to be doormats this year, but have been very competitive so far. Jake Locker at home, or Philip Rivers on the road? Rivers on the road, it is.

Minnesota over Cleveland. As much as I would love to champion my ex-gf’s cousin Brian Hoyer, I can’t bring myself to pick a team that just traded Trent Richardson.

Tampa over New England. Let me reiterate: I wont pick the Patriots at any point this year. But I actually think the Bucs can pull this one out. The Bucs have a strong defense that will stop whatever slop the Patriots throw out for Brady to scream at.

This just in: Tom Brady is an asshole.

New Orleans over Arizona. The Saints haven’t exactly lit it up on offense this year yet. I don’t see it happening this week either against Patrick Peterson and the Cardinals.

Detroit over Washington. Detroit’s pass rush vs. RG3’s ACL recovery. I’ll take Detroit’s pass rush.

NY Giants over Carolina. I’ve already taken more teams on the road this week than last–that makes me nervous. What calms my nerves is the fact that I’m picking Coughlin to prepare his team better than Ron Rivera.

Baltimore over Houston. Houston’s luck runs out in Baltimore.

Atlanta over Miami. Another road team? Well it is Matt Ryan vs. Ryan Tannehill.

Buffalo over NY Jets. I don’t see myself picking against the Bills at any point this season. Also, Geno Smith will throw a few interceptions against the Bills blitz schemes.

Not sure why I’m posting this GIF after discussing the Bills defense. But any chance I get to post anything related to EJ Manuel, I’ll take it.

San Francisco over Indy. I like the trade for Trent Richardson. Wont matter much this week.

Seattle over Jacksonville. The only compelling argument that the Jags wont get slaughtered is that Gus Bradley has some insight on the Seahawks organization. Maybe they lose by 17 instead of 24.

Pittsburgh over Chicago. I just cant imagine the Steelers dropping to 0-3.

Denver over Oakland. This will get ugly.

 

 

 

 

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