Yup, These Are My Friends–Patriots Edition

Yup, These Are My Friends–Patriots Edition

Welcome to the fourth of a series of posts on my friends’ favourite teams (here is the first one just in case you missed it). Most of my friends don’t share my penchant for masochism–I’m a Bills fan– and thusly have chosen their favourite teams far more wisely. As a celebration of their superior vintage, I bring to you their thoughts on their favourite teams upcoming seasons.

Next up is Kristi Reilly, Patriots fan.

When did you first realize you were a Patriots fan?

After I saw this ad:

Animal(s) were killed during the production of this coat.

What’s your ace in the hole that proves your fandom?

The Pats won me over the old fashioned way – by playing well, and being a really exciting team every time they took the field. Sure, Tom’s adorable butt chin and flowing locks make watching the games in HD that much more crucial, but I genuinely enjoy watching this team. I am typing this as I watch the Jays give up another lead – sometime it’s nice to just be a fan of a team who is the favourite for once.

Ryan Mallet or Tim Tebow?

Tebow. He brings out my Catholic guilt like no other athlete. And, I don’t really know who Ryan Mallet is–has he dated anyone famous?

Describe to me your thought process from the time you found out Aaron Hernandez had a “murder problem” to the time currently where the Patriots are without Gronkowski and are starting undrafted wide receivers.

I love that – “murder problem.” (Ed. Note: that was coined by Christen Cole) My favourite part about that story (can you have a favourite part of a story where someone lost their life?) is how un-gangsta Hernandez looked in his selfie holding the gun

My second favourite part is that it was a piece of Bubbalicious that did him in. As far as the Gronk injury goes, every team has to deal with injuries to key players, and I’d rather it be earlier in the season than later, so I don’t mind starting unproven players if it means we don’t rush him back prematurely.

Aaron Hernandez uses an IPhone. #productplacement

If you could have one rival NFL player dissappear Jimmy Hoffa style, who would it be?

I have thought about this for a while but there is no one I dislike enough to want their body put through a wood chipper. Can I choose Erin Andrews? (Ed. Note: Hasn’t that poor human suffered enough?)

Any self-respecting fan of a team–maybe even Patriots fans–have usually something to be nervous about, regardless of how good they are. What makes you nervous as a Patriots Fan?

I can pretty much guarantee that the Pats won’t do well this year, as I have Brady as my QB in our fantasy pool, and I am the unluckiest fantasy player ever. Sorry Mr. Kraft but I have single handedly sunk your team. (Ed. Note: Unlucky? Kristi managed to make the playoffs in our 10 team league while having the least amount of points among all teams.)

What about the opposite? What makes you irrationally optimistic about the upcoming season

Anyone who counts the Pats out is a moron. They’re like the Yankees – no matter how old and injured they are, they always seem to find a way to win. (Ed. Note: this is incredibly true. The Yankees and Patriots are basically Jason Voorhees in the form of sports franchises.)

Not Aaron Hernandez.

What’s your prediction for the season?

16-0 because why the hell not, they’ve done it before. (Ed. Note: Yes, they have gone 16-0. Or should I say 18 and 1! I would like a 16-0 season if they went one and done in the playoffs. 16 and 0 but one and done has a nice ring to it.)


2 thoughts on “Yup, These Are My Friends–Patriots Edition

    • Thank you for justifying two of my passions: Late era Friday The 13th movies (The more they focus on Jason in the title, the more I enjoy them) and hating the New England Patriots conglomerate (Up to and including owner, coaches, players, useful idiots like Skip Bayless, etc).


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