Yup, These Are My Friends–Packers Edition

Yup, These Are My Friends–Packers Edition

Packers fans have become very entitled.

Welcome to the sixth of a series of posts on my friends’ favourite teams. Most of my friends don’t share my penchant for masochism–I’m a Bills fan– and thusly have chosen their favourite teams far more wisely. As a celebration of their superior vintage, I bring to you their thoughts on their favourite teams upcoming seasons.

Next I bring to you a Green Bay Packers fan. Or otherwise known as Katie Phillips, female. You might remember her from such previous remarks like “Kevin Kolb? Ha! Good luck with that,” and “Blaine Gabbert is a pussy.”

(Click here for previous posts in this series.)

Aaron Rodgers Shirtless

Not that impressed.

When did you first realize you were a Packers fan?

The easy answer to that question is 2008, which is the first year that I entered my fantasy football pool. During my initial research, I was bombarded by a staggering amount of print on the Rodgers/Favre situation. What struck me most about the situation was Rodgers’ own reaction to it. Instead of lashing out and attacking Favre, the media, and the fans, he chose to take the more humble route (A path he should probably re-examine). It occurred to me that someone who could gracefully withstand all of that outward pressure might be able to translate those skills onto the field as well. I drafted him late, watched him carry my team all season, and have been a fan ever since.

For the more complicated answer, let’s re-examine the turbulent year of 1997. As a refresher for you younger folks here are some highlights: Bill Clinton was re-elected to his second term, (Ed. Note: Good times) Timothy McVeigh was convicted of murder and sentenced to death,(Ed. Note: not good times?) Princess Diana was killed in a car accident, (Ed. Note: definitely not good times?) divorce became legal in the Republic of Ireland, (Ed. Note: can women vote yet?) Superstar Cody Simpson was born, (Ed. Note: Cody cant vote yet) and the Green Bay Packers defeated the New England Patriots in Superbowl XXXI. Ordinarily, the last item on this list would have escaped my preoccupied, 12-year old mind if not for the insistence of one of my football-loving classmates. The chain of events remains somewhat hazy, but at the end of the day I was talked into placing an ill-fated $5 bet against the Packers. (Ed. Note: Amazingly enough, one of my earliest memories of Bills fandom also involves a $5 bet.) From the instant the agreement was struck, I knew I had made a mistake. This error has continued to gnaw at me over the years and it was only with the drafting of Rodgers and my subsequent Cheesehead status that my conscience finally found relief.

What’s your ace in the hole that proves your fandom? 

I’ve found that proving your credibility as a female football fan is incredibly easy. All I have to do is mention words like “fantasy football” and “completion percentage” and people’s minds are blown. (Ed. Note: This much is true. Most football fans genealogy can be traced back to ancestors whom resisted the idea of women voting.)

Aaron Rodgers or Brett Favre? 

Great arm, good decisions, staggering out of the pocket accuracy vs. High-gain, high-loss, interception happy gunslinger?  Let me get back to you on that. (Notice how I took the high road and made no mention of dicks and/or texting?) (Ed. Note: Yes, I noticed how you did and didn’t.)

I imagine he’s moved on to Snapchat.

Describe to me your thought process from the time Greg Jennings left as a free agent, to Greg Jennings most recent war of words with Aaron Rodgers. 

 To be honest, I barely followed it. Football drama might serve as an entertaining distraction sometimes, but at the end of the day it has nothing to do with the game (Unless you’re in New York). Was the situation unfortunate? Yep. Do I think it’ll have any impact on the Packers’ season? Nope. Enough said, moving on.

Aaron Rodgers played the whole “I’m the guy the female lead of a romantic comedy really wants– instead of the classically handsome macho asshole–but she doesn’t realize it until the beginning of the third act” thing to perfection. Since then he seems to have gotten a lot more arrogant in his dealings with the press, and ex-players like Jennings, and to a lesser extent Donald Driver, have said some not so flattering things. But do you think things have changed at all? Do you think Aaron Rodgers has become a bit of a, say, smug prick? 

Aaron Rodgers is an extremely talented player. However, he’s also an extremely hard-working player who sets high standards for himself. I think he also expects this level of perfection of his teammates, which unfortunately may affect his leadership style. I wouldn’t call him a prick, but I think he may need to step back and work on his communication style. It would also be nice if he got over that whole getting drafted 24th overall thing. (Ed. Note: Not likely. Especially if Tom Brady is used as a case study. 15 years later and he’s still saying shit like “Can you believe I was a 6th round pick” when cameras are within earshot.)

 If you could have one rival NFL player disappear Jimmy Hoffa style, who would it be?

Adrian Peterson. No one’s admitting anything, but everyone knows he’s a cyborg. I’m not saying we should be concerned about a Skynet situation because that would be crazy and irrational. I’m just saying that such a situation is definitely going to occur and we should prepare accordingly.

The cyborg stuff is one thing, but apparently Dr. James Andrews says Adrian Peterson’s knee looks just like a baby’s knee.

Any self-respecting fan of a team, not including Patriots fans because they have no self-respect, usually feels nervous about their team, regardless of how good they are. What makes you nervous as a Packers Fan?

Defense, defense, defense. Give Aaron Rodgers two seconds to throw and he’ll get the job done for you. Collapse the pocket, make him run, and he’ll still find someone open with eye-popping accuracy. Unfortunately, none of that matters when the defense is giving up points. High-scoring games are fun to watch, but everyone knows they’re a sign of an unbalanced team.

What about the opposite? What makes you irrationally optimistic about the upcoming season?

See above, Aaron Rodgers, Aaron Rodgers, Aaron Rodgers.

What’s your prediction for the season?

13-3. Our first few games will be rough, but everything from week 5 on is ours to win. (Ed. Note: the schedule argument! Spoken like a true hardcore fan.)


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