Yup, These Are My–Experts: who will the Bills take 8th overall?

Yup, These Are My–Experts: who will the Bills take 8th overall?

Tavon Austin: I’m a bad little man.

Before I post my own mock draft, I had a few experts chime in with their predictions.

“Tavon Austin. He maximizes all of his 5-8 frame–I appreciate efficiency. Apparently, “he’s a bad little man.” Has he read The Prince? If not, I will have my secretary send him a copy. We need more 5-8 males dominating their respective fields. I would sleep well having taken him first overall”

-Justin Beaubien, CEO

“Maybe they’ll use the pick to draft a really intelligent QB who went to a great school and yet constantly throws bonehead picks over the middle. Then they’ll pay him really well and everything will work out fine. Ryan Nassib didn’t attend an Ivy league school, but he scored well on the Wonderlic. Close enough. Ryan Nassib. That’s your pick Buffalo Bills.”

-Rob “Ivy League” Duffy

“The Bills should take Matt “Not Charles” Barkley or Ryan Nassib Kadri at 8.  To be honest, I want them to take one of these shitty white quarterbacks, instead of Tavon Austin. Sorry Bills, but the Jets are a long-suffering franchise too.

With that in mind, the Jets could take the shitty white quarterback that the Bills don’t take. However, seeing as the Jets already have the two most underwhelming QB’s in the league (granted, those three days of Tai-Chi have worked wonders for Tebow), it’s time to start shoring up the defensive line. Instead of taking the best player available (Jarvis Jones), the Jets will opt for the best name available: Barkevious “Kiki” Mingo. Get ready for the auto-correcting; “Bark Evil” or “Brake vinous.” The powerful edge rusher from LSU will give some much-needed speed and power that has been missing for some time. It’s time to take the Jets’ defence in a new direction… hopefully one that is not chasing down RB’s that have broken free.

With the 13th pick in the draft, the New York Jets select…a trade with the San Francisco 49ers. The Niners are going to be in the business of trading up and trading off their picks this year. They are an overloaded team with too many picks and they can’t afford to have more guys on the bench. Or the Jets will keep the pick and go with Tavon Trevor Austin the Wide Receiver out of West Virginia. He can be that big time playmaker that Santonio Holmes has not been for the last two years. Of course, this is all contingent on the Bills not taking Austin first. The Bills will find a way to screw up their draft. And, so will the Jets.”

-Gavin Whitehead, Jets Fan.

“The Bills should take Tavon Austin; the Buffalo Bills will take Matt Barkley. I’ve been hearing a lot of chatter comparing Matt Barkley to Aaron Rodgers, but we all know this is the Kirk/Picard argument all over again. At the end of the day, you want Rodgers out of the pocket and Picard manning the bridge. Yeah that’s right, Shatner wasn’t in the new Star Trek movie. Get over it.”

-Katie Philips, Female.

“The Buffalo Bills should draft a quarterback who can win games.”

-Mark Murray, a mind clear of clutter.


3 thoughts on “Yup, These Are My–Experts: who will the Bills take 8th overall?

  1. Pingback: Buddy Nix is fixated on E.J. Manuel’s size and other observations. | Emails From Doug Whaley

  2. Pingback: Is God a PED? | Emails From Doug Whaley

  3. Pingback: GMails From Doug Whaley | Emails From Doug Whaley

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