How does one start a blog? What a new age, existential question!
I originally intended to begin this blog with a self-involved entry about why I became a Bills fan. However, what started as a self-involved entry became a very self-involved entry. If I had to elevator pitch it, I would say it’s like Eat Pray Love–except I don’t leave my apartment. I need to take a few days to think about what I have done. Perhaps by then It will be appropriate for public consumption.
That’s enough self-hype, for now. Instead I want to share with you what my friends thought of my decision to start a Buffalo Bills blog. Most of their thoughts devolved into potshots. ‘Tis the life of a Bills fan in Toronto.
The following are real quotes, from real friends, who aren’t really Bills fans.
“Kevin Kolb? Ha! Good luck with that.”
She probably likes football more than you. She is absolutely catatonic over the fact that Netflix doesn’t have NFL Network shows. Nevertheless, she’s been spoiled. Katie decided to become a Green Bay Packer fan the year Aaron Rodgers became starter. She could never walk the streets of Buffalo fandom alone at night.
“A thousand-year Reich. A thousand year Reich,”
And the award for best obscure reference to the greatest comeback in Bills history award goes to Brandon Forsyth. There is no physical trophy for this award, instead you earn eternal football hipster cred. Congratulations Brandon. Stay tuned for his guest post. If you hate the NFL Network but continue to watch it, Mr. Forsyth will explain exactly how you feel in a way that will have Chuck Klosterman wishing he could connect two unlike things as well as everyone’s BF can.
“What took you so long?”
Mark is a unknowing Buddhist and is far too zen to think negatively about anything. It’s not always a good thing–he gambles on the Bills regularly. Perhaps I think too highly of myself, but I feel like he wastes his money because it will make me happy. Sadly, it kind of does.
“Just like the Bills making a playoff run, this seems to me like a pointless endeavor.”
-Justin Beaubien, CEO–and frequent power napper.
He was furious I wasted his time asking him a pointless question. His follow-up quote, “Do you know how many important business deals I could have brokered in these last 30 seconds?”
“Sorry about Marrone,”
No, not that Rob Duffy. Instead of saying anything about the blog, Rob just said the exact same thing he said when the Bills hired Doug Marrone. I still don’t get it. I think this is an allusion of some sort, however, I have been too ashamed to ask. Hopefully now we can clear the air.
“When team crash lands, please use the Kolb under your seat as a temporary flotation device.”
Bravo, Frank. Comparing Kevin Kolb to a flotation device is more than appropriate. I think I can further this analogy. Back in the day I was the coolest 10-year-old kid ever. I learned how to swim years earlier–yet I would still wear a life jacket. The Bills draft plans this year are probably going to resemble 10-year-old me. Instead of plunging into the deep end of the first round with Geno Smith, they would rather swim in the shallow end with a life jacket like Ryan Nassib in the 2nd.
That’s it for now.
*Disclaimer: I may have made up some quotes, and whatnot, but I can honestly say they had nothing to do with Bob Dylan.