Emails From Doug Whaley Podcast Episode 18: Calzone Boners, Ray Lewis, and Donald Trump’s Toupee. Part One.

nflpromWe’ve got a very special two part podcast as Alex Jones and Alex Karzis join me to preview Bills/Pats. Things get weird obviously.

Like calzone boner weird.

Even Donald Trump toupee weird.

Check out the latest episode here.

For the love of god, subscribe to us on Itunes.


Emails From Doug Whaley Podcast 17: “Chris Hogan Would Make A Shitty Zombie.”

The podcast is up and running again. Join me for my chat with Alex Jones of Buffalowdown. We talk Bills/Colts, Tyrod Taylor, and Bills players if they were zombies.

For the rest of the podcasts, click here.

NFL Season Preview

NFL Season Preview

A really late one, at that.

Disclaimer: If you consider any one of my predictions insane, please take a step back from reading, and consider taking a deep breath instead. Hopefully, a nice deep breath will provide you with the clarity needed to enjoy a bit of mindless entertainment. For the rest of you, ignore what I just said, and enjoy the dinger socking.

32. Cleveland Browns 0-16.

Continue reading

Emails From Doug Whaley Podcast Episode 15: “Am I Being Sarcastic?”

The podcast is back! I had to take a break because life happened. Started writing about tv at Hidden Remote. Check out my author page by clicking here.

Enough shameless self promotion.

Alex Karzis joins me this week to discuss the NFL draft. Without a first round pick there isn’t much to talk about. So obviously we digress. And by digress, obviously I mean we went to some dark places.

Talking Points

  • Can you name one player… (30 seconds in)
  • Alex brings up Trent Edwards. (4 minutes in)
  • I bring up Freudian psychology. (5 minutes in)
  • Obligatory NSA reference. Something about watching a drone strike. (6 minutes in)
  • We get back to it: 2nd round quarterbacks are not good. (7 minutes in)
  • Philip Rivers? (13 minutes in)
  • Charles Clay: more than meets the eye. (25 minutes in)
  • For whatever reason we get into talking about Lars Von Trier. Insanity ensues. (29 minutes in)
  • Kevin Spacey as Roger Goodell? (30 minutes in)
  • I come up with a movie pitch… (31 minutes in)
  • We talk about the Buffalo Bills. I know right. (33 minutes in.

Buffalo Bills Schedule 2015: A Hard Fracking From Terry Pegula

Terry Pegula swung his dick around this offseason. The natural gas man’s pile of coins helped sign the likes of Rex Ryan, LeSean McCoy, and Charles Clay.

I’m not surprised that a man who made his bank from oil fracking has the kind of money that makes household names like Charles Clay rich. What surprises me is that Pegula didn’t swing that thing the NFL schedule makers way.

The Bills start out the season against the Colts, Pats, and Dolphins. That’s two great quarterbacks and a terrible one. Of course, the terrible one being Ryan Tannehill, who got gifted Nkdkamong Suh in the offseason. So yeah, not a promising start to the season regardless of what quarterback the Buffalo Bills are facing.


Terry Pegula is no Dan Snyder, except for the fact that he also enjoys the occasional dive into a pile of coins.


Now couple that with a three game road swing in October. The Bills face the Jets on a Thursday night, the Pats on a monday night and finish off against the Chiefs on a Sunday afternoon. All three of these games make me nervous.

Thursday night games greatly favour the home team. The Bills only beat the Pats when Kyle Orton is cleaning his locker out. And Arrowhead is never an easy place to play. That’s a three game losing streak waiting to happen.

Or is it?

As the tired cliché goes, the games aren’t won and lost in the offseason — it’s a time best spent swinging your dick around in the right ways. Acquiring the right coaches and players is a hell of a lot more important than enticing the schedule makers. We’ll see who can take Pegula’s hard fracking starting Sunday Sept 13th.

The Jerry Hughes Blues

Fans tend to fall into one of two categories: the hater and the believer. The hater hates cuz he’s gonna hate, while the believer figures out how to justify the kool-aid you’re asking him to drink. If I had to choose one, I would say I am a believer. And, that’s why I’m in an unusual position. That is, I have to put a hater cap on for the moment, and criticize a roster move the Buffalo Bills made today.

The Bills signed Jerry Hughes to an extension totalling 45 million over 5 years. At first blush, 9 million per looks pretty ridiculous. But of course, this is the NFL and taking a contract at face value is naive. That’s what is for.

IMG_1379 (1)

Based on the contract details, it looks like the Jerry Hughes signing isn’t a good one. His cap hit isn’t so bad for the first two years, 6.175 and 7.575 respectively. But then it balloons to 10.45 in the third year, and 10.4 in the last two years. Not to mention, the dead cap hits are untenable for the first three years. In 2017 cutting Hughes wouldn’t even save two million off the cap. All in all, it looks like the Bills are doing everything they can to make it difficult to sign Marcell Dareus.

Yes, that last sentence was ridiculous. I was just trying to say something a “hater” would say — a hater take if you will. But take out the hyperbole, and what you’re left with is, is a contract that will make it more difficult to resign Marcell Dareus.

Case in point: Dareus is a free agent next year. The Bills will have a bit of cap room because of the backloaded contract they gave Jerry Hughes, but how do the Bills work in a signing of Dareus over the long-term? In 2015 Hughes’ cap hit is 7.575, in 2016 it’s 10.45. Even if the Bills backload the Dareus contract, they can’t release Hughes with any substantial cap savings until 2018.

How is this all going to work?

As a reluctant hater, I think I’m right. As a true believer, I hope I’m wrong.

Podcast Episode 14: “He [Ditka] Would Never Go Inside A Starbucks.”

Two podcasts this week? I know. I actually recorded this one on Monday, but I delayed after the LeSean McCoy insanity happened.

Anyways, I talk to Brad Macdonald, who “almost won a journalist award” for his excellent coverage of Rob Ford’s mayoral run. Alongside his political coverage, he’s a Leaf and Packers fan. We talk a bunch about the trade deadline — namely the banghazi scandal at TSN — and eventually get into some football talk.

Follow his very active twitter feed at @bradmac91.
Listen below

Talking points: 

  • I make a multi-cam sitcom style joke re: banghazi (30 seconds in)
  • Was it an intern who did it? Did they forget to filter out the word bang? Or is TSN’s non-sentient bot at fault? Personally, I blame the good for nothin’ bot. And immigration. (1 minute in)
  • Obligatory NSA reference. (4 minutes in)
  • Brad talks about how two Leaf players have blocked him. Listen to find out. (6 minutes in)
  •  I defend TMZ. More so, because of their coverage of the Ray Rice Scandal, not so much for their celeb butt posts. (14 minutes in)
  • I go on a rant, manage to fit in a question at the end of it. HOW DOES MIKE MCCARTHY STILL HAVE A JOB? (21 minutes in)
  • Mike McCarthy, Bill Belichick, Mike Ditka, Starbucks. (29 minutes in)
  • We finally talk about the Buffalo Bills. I torment him re: Bills/Packers game. (32 minutes in)
  • We discuss free agent options for the Bills and Packers. Peyton Hillis anyone?

* Any clips used in the podcast are fair use. I make absolutely no money off this podcast — actually lose some, really.


Podcast Episode 13: “LeSean McCoy Trade.”

We are on Itunes! Subscribe here.

On this week’s episode, Alex Jones and I, freak out about the LeSean McCoy trade. Eventually we get to making up trade ideas that would have seemed preposterous yesterday.

Follow us on Twitter.

* Any clips used in the podcast are fair use. I make absolutely no money off this podcast — actually lose some, really.