Buffalo Bills Rational Recap–KIKO 4 MVP Edition (Week 4)

Every Monday* I try my very best to write a rational recap of the latest Buffalo Bills game. For last week’s recap, CLICK HERE!

 *Except the bye week and the Thursday night NFL network shit show against the Cleveland Browns.

I was speaking to a friend of mine–who is in Scotland and far away from ubiquitous NFL talk–and told her that the Buffalo Bills won. She thought this was good news because it will mean that there will be a “happy blog post.” Little does she know that winning isn’t my muse.

Instead of focusing on the win, I will focus on how we almost lost, thanks to my other friends, Brandon and Katie–who you might know from their contributions to this blog. During the first half, the Buffalo Bills built up a lead, and then this exchange occurred with Katie Phillips, female.

It was nice to hear that she was impressed with the Bills. It didn’t stop there. At one point, I thought I might have heard Dan Fouts accuse Terrell Suggs of stabbing EJ Manuel on a sack. Since I am sans PVR I had to ask Brandon (who was watching with Katie) to rewind and confirm for me. And, yes Fouts did provide his eye witness testimony for the audience. But Katie and Brandon, the bandwagon jumpers, were none too pleased with me:

Once halftime hit I decided to grab a quick-lunch, but I was late for the start of the third quarter. Quickly, but surely the tide had turned for those bandwagon jumpers.

And, of course as a tried and true Buffalo Bills fan, I knew these bandwagon jumpers were right. *Cue that “I just kicked in the nuts feeling” in your stomach that miraculously lasts for 2 quarters.

Once the “I just got kicked in the nuts feeling” subsided, I logged into WordPress. What follows is a rational and reasonable recap of the week 4 showdown between the Buffalo Bills and Baltimore Ravens.

***

The Buffalo Bills defense beat the defending world champion Baltimore Ravens 23-20.

The Buffalo Bills pass rush was back to its usual form after a week off in Rutherford, New Jersey. All told, the pass rush resulted in four sacks and twelve qb hits. Most importantly, the Bills managed consistent pressure on Joe Flacco, forcing throws over the middle to the likes of Ed Dickson, who is the opposite of surehanded. The turnovers left the Ravens down 20-7 at halftime.

However, the Bills would end up only scoring another three points the rest of the way, which allowed the Ravens to mount a second half comeback. Joe Flacco managed to get by the secondary with several long plays to the always smiling Torrey Smith, including a 76 yard play. And, by secondary I mean only the much-maligned Justin Rogers, who continued to give out big passing plays like Hallloween candy.

Despite Joe Flacco figuring out how to get the ball to Torrey Smith, the rest of the Buffalo Bills secondary figured out how to run routes for Flacco better than his receivers. Aaron Williams and Jim Leonhard both chipped in with two interceptions.

In summation, the Bills managed to intercept Flacco 5 times, including the game clinching interception by team MVP Kiko Alonso, which you can see below in all its grandeur.

I actually started yelling MVP out loud when I say this. My neighbours hate me.

Manuel. Hoyer. My ex-gf’s cousin against my latest bromance. The Bills play the Browns on the road, this thursday night on the NFL network.

***

During the final Ravens drive, I called Brandon and Katie, and they put me on speaker phone. Both of them said something to the tune of, “It’s gonna be ok.” But to the contrary, I wasn’t worried. After EJ Manuel’s juggling act didn’t come back to haunt the Bills, I could sense that there was going to be a different ending to a seemingly familiar script.

Years ago, the Buffalo Bills were a minute or so away from beating the New England Patriots with Trent Edwards at quarterback–that’s not a typo. However, Leodis McKelvin decided to fumble a kickoff return. If he had just called for a fair catch, the Bills would have milked the clock and more than likely won. Just like last time, the ball was fumbled, but this time recovered by the Bills. I might regret this, actually I already regret this, but this moment alone, not only made me realize the Bills were going to win, but also that lady luck may be turning tricks in our favour. I don’t know why, or how it happened, or that it necessarily will continue to happen, but things feel a little differently around here. And, I’m not too worried about having a muse,  as long as the Buffalo Bills make every win close. Knock on Robert Woods Eric Wood.

I googled “Lady Luck Buffalo Bills.” This was the most appropriate image I could find.

Yup, These Are My Friends–Ravens Edition

Welcome to the seventh of a series of posts on my friends’ favourite teams. Most of my friends don’t share my penchant for masochism–I’m a Bills fan– and thusly have chosen their favourite teams far more wisely. As a celebration of their superior vintage, I bring to you their thoughts on their favourite teams upcoming seasons.

Today I bring to you Dana Bleiberg, Ravens fan. I met her years back during emo’s twilight years. She is by far the most geographically legit fan we have had so far, hailing from Bethesda, Maryland. Check out her website:  http://www.danabmodel.com/

Here’s Dana climbing to the top, like the Ravens did last year.

When did you first realize you were a Ravens fan?

I grew up in Washington DC when the Skins sucked. Absolute worst of the worst. I loved football but knew you were not supposed to like the Skins. I actually have a distinct memory of being in middle school and a classmate forgot his Redskins jacket on the field. The assistant principal picked up the jacket and held it up to ask who’s it was. When no one claimed the jacket the principal said “Well, we might as well bury it. The Skins are dead anyway.” (Ed. Note: Now no one wants to claim them because it’s racist) I then went to Baltimore for college and saw how much the city loved their football team. All the buildings are lit up purple. That is what I was looking for.

She isn’t lying. I

What do you think of Joe Flacco’s 120 Million dollar contract? And, do you think he should have gotten something else other than McDonald’s after signing it? What would you recommend in the Baltimore area?

Flacco deserves it. He is highly underrated. (Ed. Note: And, he has a great fu-manchu) About the McDonalds thing, he wouldn’t be Flacco if he went anywhere else! I would recommend Stuggy’s though… amazing hot dogs and fried pickles (Ed. Note: I would personally recommend Blue Moon of Diners, Drive-in’s and Dives).

I probably shouldn’t say this in public, but I quite like Joe Flacco’s fu manchu.

Ray Lewis or Dannell Elerbe? 

Ray Lewis. (Ed. Note: I imagine this is because Dannell Ellerbe doesn’t dance before every game. Ray Lewis really lost a step or four the last few years.)

On a scale of 1-10 how proud of Baltimore are you for that “BULLSHIT” chant?

Not proud at all. I said I like the Ravens, not Baltimore. (Ed. Note: Personally I’m an 11. Hearing Cris Collinsworth and Al Michaels have to acknowledge that a sold out crowd is swearing in unison is definitely one of my personal top 5 sports memories.)

If you could have one rival NFL player dissappear Jimmy Hoffa style, who would it be?

The entire Pittsburgh Steelers obviously. (Ed. Note: I like how you didn’t specify Ben Roethlisberger).

Describe your thought process from the time that the Ravens fired their offensive coordinator Cam Cameron in week 15, to the eventual Super Bowl win.

All you can do is trust in a choice like that. I never doubted that it was necessary and that it was what the team needed. It wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t.

Any self-respecting fan of a team–not including Patriots fans because they have no self-respect–usually feels nervous about their team, regardless of how good they are. What makes you nervous about the Ravens this year?

There’s been a lot of change from last season to this season. That is worrisome. Not knowing all the players and how they work together is nerve racking. And you are right: Patriots fans don’t have any self–respect. They don’t want a Super Bowl win, they expect it.

The future of Patriots fans doesn’t look bright either.

What about the opposite? What makes you irrationally optimistic about the upcoming season? 

The Ravens have always been the underdog but last year’s Superbowl win has proven to them that they can do it. They are going to want to prove that it wasn’t a fluke. Especially Joe Flacco.

What are your predictions for the upcoming season? 

I think it will be a slow start. First, the Ravens need to get used to their new players and loss of key older players. Second, everyone wants revenge for last year–the Ravens have targets on their backs all year–starting with Denver week 1! Though, after a few games the Ravens we saw from last year will be back.

Dana at the Ravens Rally.